Once we got back to Andy’s store we took turns pumping air into his new mattress.
“Why didn’t you go home went the store got looted?” I asked while stepping on the pump.
“I live on the other side of the city. South of Rio Grande street. I was too scared to walk. No one would come get me so I just hunkered down and hoped it blew over.”
“No one would come get you?” he shook his head, “No came for me either. Facebook, text messages, phone calls and no one answered. Were your parents in the city?”
I honestly didn’t want to have to deal with Andy again but to keep from running out of estrogen I probably would have to. Maybe I could just ignore him? We would run into each other eventually in the superstore. So go talk to him at his store in the open or randomly bump into him at the superstore in the dark? Not much of a choice.
My new watch said it was Tuesday the ninth day of the month. Long enough for my ankle to be mostly healed. It still ached a little in the morning but that passed quickly. After gearing up with backpack, baseball bat, and machete, I headed out. I took the direct route to his store; scanning cross streets for zombies before dashing across.
I stopped across the street from Andy’s store watching for a minute. No zombies around the store. No zombies up or down the street. Wait there was one. Far enough away that it blended in until it moved. I watched it shuffle a couple of time before deciding it was far enough away to not see me. I crossed to the the store and walked to the front door. One door was still broken but Andy had tied a wooden pallet to cover the opening. I looked around inside.
This world is too straight and cis
For my gay and trans heart
This world is too dark and cruel
For my light and gentle heart
This world is too harsh and rocky
For the soft valleys of my heart
This world is too loud and angry
For my quiet and sad heart
This world is too much
For my heart
Note: Part of the “Scenes of a Life” Stories.
I sat quietly watching people. I wonder how many of them knew how lucky they were to not have to wonder if they were normal. How many have ever questioned things so basic to their being? Am I a… or a…? Do I love… or…?
No most of them don’t know. They just walk around blissfully unaware of how little they really know about themselves. Sometimes I remember what it was like. Of course ignorance was not bliss for me; it was endless torture of not knowing the right questions to ask. Something was different about me but I didn’t have the concepts to understand what. But I found books with new ideas and I learned new words. Once I knew what was wrong I could look back and see clearly what had eluded my mind’s grasp.
Short slice of life stories about a trans woman and her girlfriend.
Content Warning: Zombie child death. Normally I wouldn’t warn about a zombie death but “child” death is a bit different.
I spent a couple of days going from apartment to apartment collecting what food had been left behind. In a couple of apartments, I found small half full cases of bottled water. In the end I had enough to last a few weeks. Maybe, I thought, I didn’t need to go back to the superstore and risk running into Andy. I hadn’t found large stock piles of food and water but it added up. I would have to leave the apartment complex if I wanted to keep finding anything though.
The next day, I walked into the neighborhood that bordered on the apartment complex. Before the zombies, my roommate and I had walked around here for exercise. We had looked at the changing lawn decorations as holidays had come and gone. Judged Christmas lights in the winter and counted flags during the summer.
Now I was looking supplies and hoping to avoid zombies.
We went to school together and even hung out in groups near each other but that was all. It wasn’t until a few years later that we really met.
It was early days for me, only a few months after going full time. Walking around in public still made me nervous but I was trying to get past it. That day I was browsing in the women’s section of the local super store.
I froze as I heard the name I hadn’t used in months. A name that no longer fit who I was now. I glanced up and saw a girl who I recognized vaguely from high school looking at me over the clothes rack. Cynthia, my mind provided after a few seconds.
I panicked. I dropped the skirt I was looking at and began to walk out of the store as fast as I could. She followed me.
The next day my ankle was a bit more sensitive to bearing my weight. I spent time with it elevated while reading and watching outside. The Stand didn’t have quite the same appeal now. I ate cold meals.
Two more days passed in the same way. The bruise on my shoulder ached less and I began practicing with the machete. I tried using my bat in one hand and my machete in the other hand. I found swinging with my left awkward but having an extra weapon might come in handy so I kept practicing.
My previous trips to the superstore insured that I wouldn’t run out of food before my ankle had time to heal but I would need to ration a little. I considered breaking into the other apartments in the complex. Most of my neighbors had left in a hurry probably not taking the time to clear out their pantry. I had avoided breaking in before for much the same reason I had left my roommate’s food alone. I was becoming less concerned with seeming like a upstanding citizen and more concerned with survival.
I said to my immortal wife, “Goodbye my love.”
To me, her immortal wife, she said, “Goodbye, my heart.”
“I’ll see you in fifty years.”
“I’ll see you in twenty.”
“Goodbye my world.” “Goodbye my light.”
Then she left in a ship to the stars.
What is fifty years to a pair of immortals?
We have forever to be together.
In forever, the stars in the sky will be replaced by new stars.
In forever, new worlds will blossom.
In forever, all things old will make way for the new.
Except us.
We will watch the seas dry up.
We will watch the sky rip open.
We will watch the earth die.
We will watch the sun swallow the earth.
To live forever is to say goodbye to everything we know.
To live forever is to see new worlds.
To live forever is to see the universe turn.
How long is forever?
Forever is long enough to be with her.
-end-
Twenty minutes later, I was ready to get moving. Well most of me was. My ankle still hurt when I put weight on it. Andy found a cane for me after I refused to lean on him. I limped out of the store under my own power while he closed the doors behind us.
My bat and machete were still laying near the bodies. I made my way over to my machete watching the corners of buildings for motion. I started to dip down to retrieve my machete when Andy swooped in and picked it up for me.
“Here you go. I’ll get your bat,” he said walking off. I sheathed the machete and stuck my bat in my pack when he handed it to me.
“We should move the bodies,” I said.