I dreamt I gave away my first kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone romantically, in real life that is, in other dreams I have but this was different. When I say “first kiss”, I mean it felt like the first time I had ever kissed someone. It felt real, like a different life that was my life.
The dream started as this team building exercise at a company I was working at. The first “game” was a simple scavenger hunt for one item which I found almost immediately and returned to the meeting room. A woman sat down next to me and said, “I’m glad to not be the only one here at the company anymore.”
“I’m sorry have we met?” I asked honestly unsure.
She didn’t say her name but she explained she was also a trans woman. We talked and she touched my shoulder and arm saying, “I miss being close to other trans girls.”
“I’ve never had the chance to be close with another trans girl,” I said.
She withdrew her hands at that but I reached out for her hand and we held hands fingers intertwined. She snuggled up close to me. Whispering into my neck. I turned to face her and our lips were so close. I hesitated unsure if I should. Then I took the plunge and closed the final couple of inches. It was my first kiss. My aim was a little low, I kissed her lower lip mostly, I didn’t know how hard to press or if I should open my mouth. I pulled back, she smiled and leaned in for another kiss.
The dream dissolves after that. There was a dance number I stayed out of. A game show of dangerous stunts which turned out to be harmless. A short film about the evolution of a Siberian zoo over the years. But none of it as memorable as “my first kiss”.
I feel like I’ve lost something. Part of me wonders if I wasn’t visited by a succubus or minor spirit because of how vivid and tactile the dream was. After I woke up, I cried because I was alone, then I wrote down the dream.