I can watch the sunrise if I want

Over the past month, my sleep schedule has been all over the place. Between not being able to sleep when I usual sleep and feeling like passing out when I should be awake, it has been terrible. But finally I think I have been able to stabilize my sleep schedule.

Before this disruption, I was a night owl, waking around noon and going to sleep around 5am. I’ve lived by this schedule for more than a decade. My manager allowed me to only work afternoon or evening shifts because of how sluggish I would be in the morning. I literally could not fall asleep before 4am.

At the beginning of the month, the store I work at did it’s yearly inventory scan. We do it early in the morning starting around 4am. For most people this is just an early morning; for me it’s dead center of my sleep period. In the past, I’ve managed to get a little sleep before hand and take a nap afterwards.

This year, I tried that but in the days following, my sleep became restless or impossible. I alternated between sleeping for only an hour or two and laying in bed for hours trying to sleep. Even reminding myself that just laying there was better than nothing didn’t help. During the day, I was tired and started taking almost involuntary naps in the afternoon. Since I work in the afternoons, this was not a tenable solution. Slowly I came to realize my body wanted to wake up at a different time than I was used to, which meant I had to go to sleep at a different time.

For last couple of weeks, I have woken up close to 7am. My body is now forcing me to be a morning person. I hate it. I’ve been actively fighting against it. However I have given in and to accommodate my new waking time I have been going to sleep around 11pm. The last three days I’ve followed this schedule and it seems to be working.

I went to bed “late” last night at 2am. What used to be an early bedtime is now a late night? I feel like I’m losing my identity as a night owl.

Podcast update

Last March, I stressed myself out about making my podcast, Quiet of the Night Podcast, to the deadline(that I created), instead of just making it. (the enemy of done is perfection etc etc) As I am now working on reviving the podcast, I went looking for the files from the last episode I didn’t complete. I was hoping I had recorded all the segments and just not edited them together. Unfortunately, I only recorded a couple of segments, not nearly enough to assemble into a full episode.

So, I’m starting from scratch which means I really should reread the book since it has been almost a year. That’s not really a chore since I do like the books I’m reviewing but it does feel like a setback.

Blog Update – Somehow I have returned

I am going to start posting more here on my own website in the future. This was meant to be my big return/update post but I’ve already posted a couple of things so it’s not quite as big a deal.

I am going to start posting more here on my own website in the future. This was meant to be my big return/update post but I’ve already posted a couple of things so it’s not quite as big a deal.

My last post before my impromptu hiatus was a promo for my “new” podcast Quiet of the Night Podcast. I published one more episode on July 1, 2020, and then burned out for a while due to everything happening in the world and my personal life.

Earlier this year, I tried to restart my podcast as a review and discussion podcast of the Repairman Jack book series. Between review episodes I had planned to do “special topic” exploring the real world weirdness that was adapted into the books. This lasted four episodes before I had technical issues that caused delays and stressed me out enough to stop.

Besides my podcast, I’ve been working on handcrafts. I’ve been trying to sew some of my own clothes, mostly skirts but I’m working my way to shirts. I learned to crochet a few months ago and have made two pairs of slipper socks. I’m currently crocheting a purse. I haven’t done much knitting recently. I may make a dump post with some pics.

I’m trying to rebuild a writing habit. I have a story idea my brain has been gnawing on for a few months. Also I’m going to work on more personal blogging (not so much about my personal life but about things I’ve watched, played, or read).

My main reason for wanting to revitalize this space is the potential implosion of social media. Not everything is going to go away but somethings are getting unstable. It will be nice to have a online home to retreat to when these social media islands sink.

Quiet of The Night Podcast – Episode 2 – Alex Browning

In 2000, four students and one teacher from Mt. Abraham High School died in unrelated accidents. However they did have several connections to each other. The Quiet of the Night Podcast is a fictional true crime podcast that draws its case-files from supernatural and horror tv shows and movies.

In 2000, four students and one teacher from Mt. Abraham High School died in unrelated accidents. However they did have several connections to each other. The Quiet of the Night Podcast is a fictional true crime podcast that draws its case-files from supernatural and horror tv shows and movies.

The second and last fictional “true crime” episode of the podcast.

This episode originally came out July 1,2020, a few months after the pandemic really began effecting my area. Also a couple of months after I had moved. The stress from everything happening in the world and my personal life shut me down for a while. I had some plans for more episodes but those notes were lost with the death of my laptop hard drive.

Currently I have no plans to do more fictional “true crime” episodes but I’m not against doing more at some point.

2022 freeze incoming

It’s a pleasant 64F right now but in a couple of hours the temperature is going to start plummeting. By sunset it will just above the freezing point. The low will be 17F with a wind chill of -4F. Obviously not the worst weather in the country but but it is very unusual for South Texas. Although it has been less than two years since the last freeze like this so maybe this is becoming more common.

I’m expecting the power to go off at some point. In Feb 2021, the power went off but came back periodically. Also despite leaving a tap dripping the water froze. This isn’t an issue because the trailer park manager has preemptively disconnected the water from the trailers and wrapped the faucets.

I have jugs of water for drinking and washing so I should be ok. On my last grocery shopping trip, I grabbed extra sandwich fixings incase I lost power for an extended period of time I would still be able to eat without cooking.

I am isolating to my bedroom and have plenty of blankets to keep me warm. During the last freeze, I did the same and made it through the cold nights in relative comfort (no excessively cold body parts).

Tw street harassment and stalking

(This happened on Dec. 9. I originally posted on tumblr but as I am trying to return to blogging, I am reposting it here.)

So when I was walking home tonight, someone in a truck passed me and blasted his horn. It scared me and I turned and shouted, “Fuck you!” A couple of minutes later the same truck passed by me and again blasted his horn. I was still keyed up and shouted again. A few minutes later, I see the truck approaching. I step well off the road and watch it. As it passes, he blasts his horn but because I’m expecting it I don’t yell or shout. I think he passed me one more time but there was another car so maybe that stopped him from blasting his horn.

This isn’t the first time some asshole in a pickup truck has honked his horn at me or yelled something as they drove by. But this was the first time they came back and came back and came back. It really scared me.

I know I’m not to blame but if I had just stayed silent… But also if I had left work five minutes sooner or later… However ultimately and most importantly, if he was just a better person none of that would have happened.

Quiet of the Night Podcast

I’ve started working on a podcast. It’s a fictional true crime radio show that draws its case-files from supernatural and horror tv shows and movies.

The idea came to me while watching an episode of a tv show where several people died of unexplained causes. At the end the episode, the heroes of the show just left town without covering up or hiding the deaths. I started wondering how would someone who was completely outside the supernatural goings on view these events? How would they be reported?

You can listen to a short trailer here:

And the first episode here:

Worlds within Dreams

I had a stress dream about shopping for food. My (dead) sister showed up a couple of times. Usually seeing her ejects me from dreams. This time the dream continued. I was confused and thought, “This must be a dream but I’m not waking up. Is this real?”

What can you do when faced with the possibility that reality is a dream but you can’t wake up? I accepted it as reality and lived in it.

But then I did wake up. The dream hadn’t lasted too much longer but I was ready to accept it.

How can I be sure this world isn’t another dream? I can’t.

But until I wake up again I have to accept it as real.

Worlds within worlds. Each as real as the previous. Each a dream in the next.

My X-Men Movies Watch Order

I recently watched Dark Phoenix, The Wolverine, and X-Men: Days of Future Past. Afterwards, I realized I have now watched all the released movies in the Fox X-Men franchise. (New Mutants is set to be released at some point in the future(maybe?) and will be the last movie in the franchise.)

The first X-Men movie came out in 2000 near the beginning of the current era of comic book movies. After three mainline movies and one spinoff, the franchise was soft rebooted with X-Men: First Class. It was set in the ’60s as a prequel to the first movie but it also contradicted some events of the preceding movies causing most to simply declare it a full reboot. The next movie X-Men: Days of Future Past confused things further by strengthening ties to the Original Trilogy era movies but also creating an alternate timeline for future Retro Series movies whose future was portrayed by actors from the Original Trilogy movies. And then you have the DeadPool movies doing their own thing.

All in all, it can be confusing knowing where to start. You could watch them in release order but the movies weren’t planned to tell an overarching story like the MCU movies. Imagine if Endgame was released after Civil War and then followed by Ant-Man.

Watching in continuity order creates its problems. “Early” movies while technically a new continuity can not help referencing “later” movies. Also in this order, the second movie in continuity draws entire characters and actors from “future” movies. The already muddled meta-story is thrown in complete disarray.

The answer is a custom watch order. I’m not going to claim this is the only way to watch the X-Men movies but I’ve done my best to reorder the movies to support the overall X-Men story and make the overall experience enjoyable.

Click on through to read my Watch Order for the X-Men Movies.

Continue reading “My X-Men Movies Watch Order”

Is Katie From Upcoming Movie “Connected” a Trans Girl?

Honestly probably not but let me lay out some evidence that I have collected from the two minutes of film shown in the trailer.

First, make note of child Katie’s t-shirt.

It is a bright red color. Anyone who has shopped for young children will know that most young girl’s clothing is made in shades of pink, white, yellow, and maybe pale blue. Bright saturated colors like her t-shirt are more commonly found in boy’s clothing.

This is not a hard and fast rule and there is no reason her parents couldn’t have bought the t-shirt from the boy’s section. Also, I realize child Katie’s t-shirt is the same color as young adult Katie’s jacket as part of her overall character design.

Second, take note that her hair is fairly short but a small section is pulled into a very short pony tail.

It does not appear that an adult has brushed her hair and pulled it into a ponytail. It is off center like a child did it. Is this a young trans girl attempting to express her gender? The small pony tail appears throughout the videotape scenes but Katie’s hair doesn’t get longer despite the scenes covering four years suggesting her parents kept her hair short.

Third, while reminiscing about their relationship during her childhood, Katie’s dad refers to her as his “little buddy” and “killer”. While neither term is exclusive to young boys, there is a distinct lack of girly nicknames or terms of endearments in these past scenes

Fourth, Katie’s phone and laptop have her name prominently displayed on them. Perhaps to remind her family of her new name?

To trans people the names we choose for ourselves are important. Personally I can recall how happy I felt seeing my name-tag display my real name. Also in the years before I could come out I would write my name in notebooks just to see it.

Obviously cis people can write their names on their possessions. Another thing to note is the “Hello my name is” sticker on her laptop which is probably also a nod to Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse in which Miles used as mini-art pieces.

Fifth, throughout the trailer two symbols are heavily associated with Katie: rainbows and lightning bolts.

Katie’s brother’s main symbol is dinosaurs. He wears a dinosaur t-shirt, his phone case is a dinosaur, and his cup has dinosaurs on it.

But his cup also has lightning bolts on it. Could this cup be a hand me down from Katie? This cup could just be the bother’s but when considering the thought and planning that goes into designing themes and color palates for animated characters it seems odd to mix symbols from two characters on this cup. It’s not impossible for a little girl to have a dinosaurs and lightning bolts cup but it does blur gender lines.

In conclusion, Katie may or may not be transgender but there is enough circumstantial evidence in this short trailer for me to make this post. How much more evidence will be revealed in the actual film?