I can watch the sunrise if I want

Over the past month, my sleep schedule has been all over the place. Between not being able to sleep when I usual sleep and feeling like passing out when I should be awake, it has been terrible. But finally I think I have been able to stabilize my sleep schedule.

Before this disruption, I was a night owl, waking around noon and going to sleep around 5am. I’ve lived by this schedule for more than a decade. My manager allowed me to only work afternoon or evening shifts because of how sluggish I would be in the morning. I literally could not fall asleep before 4am.

At the beginning of the month, the store I work at did it’s yearly inventory scan. We do it early in the morning starting around 4am. For most people this is just an early morning; for me it’s dead center of my sleep period. In the past, I’ve managed to get a little sleep before hand and take a nap afterwards.

This year, I tried that but in the days following, my sleep became restless or impossible. I alternated between sleeping for only an hour or two and laying in bed for hours trying to sleep. Even reminding myself that just laying there was better than nothing didn’t help. During the day, I was tired and started taking almost involuntary naps in the afternoon. Since I work in the afternoons, this was not a tenable solution. Slowly I came to realize my body wanted to wake up at a different time than I was used to, which meant I had to go to sleep at a different time.

For last couple of weeks, I have woken up close to 7am. My body is now forcing me to be a morning person. I hate it. I’ve been actively fighting against it. However I have given in and to accommodate my new waking time I have been going to sleep around 11pm. The last three days I’ve followed this schedule and it seems to be working.

I went to bed “late” last night at 2am. What used to be an early bedtime is now a late night? I feel like I’m losing my identity as a night owl.

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