Why Are You Doing This?

“I’m sorry what was that?”

“I… er… I’m sorry Supreme Commander I didn’t mean to question you. Please forgive me.”

“I was turned with my bad ear to you. I didn’t hear what you said. Please repeat it.”

“I… I… just asked why you wanted to take over the world?”

“Ah, that is actually a good question. You know know one has ever asked me that. In the past… let’s see I started planning in ’93 but my first attack wasn’t till ’95… twenty-one years, no one has questioned my motives. Do you want to know the truth?

“No Supreme Commander I’m sure you have good reasons for wanting to take over the world.”

“Are you sure? I’m not mad at you for asking. It shows initiative and forward thinking. I need more leaders with those qualities.”

“If you don’t mind…”

“Really I don’t.”

“Ok go ahead.”

“Ah ok it started in third grade when this punk kid named Billy started picking on me. He and his gang made the next two years of my life miserable. Then my family moved away for a few years, the best years of my life. When we returned to our home city, I found Bill, as he wanted to be called at the time, was still the insufferable bully he had been four years ago. For the next four years he dominated the school in sports, student government, and was prom king three years in row, he “graciously” exempted himself from the vote his senor year. And through it all he kept me in my place constantly taunting and putting down my every achievement.”

“Wow sounds like a real asshole.”

“He was and it didn’t end there. We went to the same University. I worked two jobs to pay tuition while he skated by on an football scholarship. The torment was never ending. It was during my fourth year that I couldn’t take it any more and decided the only way the world would ever be fair to people like me was take it by force.”

“Whatever happened to Bill?”

“He took over his father’s tire shop, got married, and had two kids, Anna and Charlie. I’m their godparent.”

“So, you’re friends with Bill now?”

“He married my best friend so I kind of had to bury the hatchet.”

“So, you don’t really have a reason for taking over the world any more?”

“I’m not a quitter and if you want to move up in this organization you should remember that. Now how is the conquest of Rhode Island going?”